The farther (of home) I am, the closer (to myself) I feel.
Each step onward, each mile away, each goal achieved, each backpack carried, each fear conquered, I feel closer to myself.
Sometimes, it’s just a question of feeling the road under the wheels being left behind, or getting to see a tiny perspective of my country from the airplane. I automatically embrace myself in a tight cuddle, protecting me as ever before.
As if a clearer notion of me being alone in the world, far off from my people, was enabling me to go deeper and deeper into my own.
I get wholehearted, firmly acquainted with the impermanence of state of things, as of state of emotions. I become a structure with more solidity than usual and my expectations are reduced to nothing.
As a smile can be a mad face, a nod can be totally scorned, a bus can be obviously missed, a sunny day can be replaced by thick clouds in the sky, a delicious meal can be a dose of diarrhoea and a gentle lady can mean a betrayal of our innocent beings, this is how I go for it. So many possibilities in a range of daily events, that I see myself choosing to be in a mild mood, neither expecting too much, nor waiting too less.
This time will be special, though. This time there are no expectations at all, but comments and prejudices and statements and advices from people who didn’t even experienced what they are commenting on.
I know that India, by myself, with a one-way ticket, can mean a mix of the novel I always wanted to read and the murkiness of my worst nightmares, so being one week ahead the day of departure means a great dose of well-rounded thinking – not hearing everything that others say, not believing in all that I read and mainly trusting my decisions and myself to the fullest.
I chose it this way, I wanted it badly, it’s part of the journey and is the step I needed to go for. No matter how I will be repositioned, afterwards, the process itself is a “must experiment” and I only can smile every day, confident on my body and mind.
From me, you can only expect one thing: the intense narrative of daily events and the journalistic tendency of transforming reality into stories that awaken a great interest on people.